randy visits
by bill560682
Summary: randy stops by his parents house for a visit after his vacation. he ends up talking to mark. what about read and find out. disclaimer i do not own home improvement or the people on it.


randy stops by his parents house for a visit after his vacation.

"so how was your vacation?" asks mark who knew randy had just spent the last month roaming the country before taking a new job.

"it was great, till i got kicked out of EVERY casino in the country." responded randy.

"YOU, kicked out of a casino? for what, trying to convince winners to give thier winnings to save the spotted owl?" asked mark.

"no dork, i did not get kicked out of A SINGLE casino. i got kicked out of every one in the country. it seems casino's love to sell books on how to count cards BUT if you get good enough to win they say you are bad for business and kick you out." responded randy.

"so how much did you win before they kicked you out?" questioned mark shocked his big brother was a card shark.

"i played at 23 casino's threwout the country before running out of them. did you know most casino's are owned by major companies an when you get thrown out of one you get thrown out of every one that company owns? i ended up winning 7.9 million before i ran out of casino's." stated randy.

"well, if you start your own charity and donate all the money to it you can save a lot of spotted owls and whales and rain forest trees, because you can get tax refunds for the money you donate and thereby redonate it to your charity next year. an as head of your own charity you can give yourself say 200,000 dollars a year as a salary. that way you still have money to pay your bills." said mark.

"how do you know so much about such charities?" questioned randy.

"simple, how do you think i keep my money as my money and thereby away from the wife spending it all." responded mark.

"so your telling me you married a woman you do not trust with your money?" asked a shocked randy.

"one word, brad. he has had 3 wives and 9 kids by 8 different women in the 5 years since he started playing pro soccer. an as a result he is flat broke." retorted mark.

"ah, you do have a point there." stated randy who was now really thinking hard about mark's idea about a charity.

truth be known i have charities that cover just about everything. from saving the earth to christmas for orphans to widows and orphans fund for police, fire department and armed forces, we have a program books for crooks that helps buy books for schools in hopes that the kids would rather have a book in their hands rather then a gun, we have a program called kids without balls that we buy 2 sky boxes for the whole season to each sporting event. one for the kids and their parents and the other for use by the charity to use to wine and dine those we want to give us money. i have 23 charities, i get 100,000 dollars off the top from each one which is 2.3 million a year. if any of the charities raise over a million in a given year i get 10%. an before you ask why i have never told you about this is simple you would just end up giving everything to the needy and NOT taking care of yourself to the point you will still be living in the basement at your parents house in 20 years." stated mark who could tell randy knew that is what would happen if someone did not give him a good hard kick in the butt.

"but aren't there rules for such things?" questioned randy.

"of course there are. For most people, the limits on charitable contributions don't APPLY. Only if you contribute more than 20% of your adjusted gross income to charity is it necessary to be concerned about donation limits. If the contribution is made to a public charity, the deduction is limited to 50% of your contribution base. For example, if you have an adjusted gross income of $100,000, your deduction limit for that year is $50,000. If you give an amount in excess of the APPLICABLE limitation to charity in one year, the excess is carried over for the next five years. Rules exist for non-cash donations. If you contribute property owned for more than one year, the value of the deduction is normally equal to the property's fair market value. You have an advantage when you contribute appreciated property because you get a deduction for the full fair market value of the property. You are not taxed on any of the appreciation, so, in effect, you receive a deduction for an amount that you never reported as income. Remember to document. No deduction is allowed for a separate contribution of $250 or more unless you have a written CONFIRMATION from the charity. A canceled check alone is not enough. If the contribution is to a religious organization solely for an intangible religious benefit (annual dues, for example) written proof is still required. All other contributions of cash require the charity to estimate the fair market value of any goods or services given to you in exchange for YOUR contribution. that is why the main thing we love to get people to give is a home 100% tax deduction for them and boat loads of money for me since the people donating are getting devorced no home to fight over and no money from the sale for the soon to be ex to get and even thought property is the only thing you get 100% deduction on the other taxes you pay will be less then you have to pay the soon to be ex and the lawyers." stated mark who had made the same speech so many times his wife claimes he even does it in his sleep.

"so you have any paperwork for these charities?" asked randy.

"of course, we have tax lawyer go over all our book. but what you mean is do i have the paperwork for you to start your own charity? and the answer is yes, it is at the house i can bring it by later and we can go threw it." stated mark happy his brother finally does not seem to see greed as a dirty word any more or at least he is learning. 


End file.
